LOTUS

LOTUS Frozen Yogurt [Reseda/Plummer]

Nestled in a relatively new plaza located per Reseda Blvd. and Plummer lies possibly the worst ‘Mom & Pop’ frozen yogurt dispensary in the San Fernando Valley. The first clue could have been the customer population of about 1, and that is including the depressing worker holding down the fort. As protocol we tend to test two flavors at every yogurt shop, and that is the ‘Original Tart’ and the ‘Pastachio.’ 

Although the interior decor is trendy and bright, the topping bar is in nicer wording: disconcerting. The strawberries were not ripe and the kiwis were particularly shriveled thus showing their ‘unfresh-ness.’ Sticking with the safest bet, I added mochi, captain crunch, and a very conservative spoonful of mango. To my surprise, the original tart was as unsatisfactory as the toppings. There is a common mistake many of these new frozen yogurt cafes consistently seem to make and that is making their original tart too sweet or too watered down, but Lotus has taken the cake!

I have never tasted Original Tart quite as TART as this.

And the more tart the flavor, the more the yogurt seems to resemble the taste of spoiled milk.

Yes, LOTUS, has earned the achievement of producing the most fermented, spoiled-milk tasting Original Tart available to the good citizens of the San Fernando Valley. 

Conclusion: Don’t waste your money. Go anywhere but here.

As for me, I found myself at the ice cream shoppe located inside of good old Rite-Aid. The ice cream at Rite-Aid is always a promising medication for traumatized taste buds.